Automation Enthusiast Gifts

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'

'All those in favour of accepting more robots?'

'Bad news. You're being outsourced by robots from a third world country.'

'Now that we're completely automated, there's no one to yell at.'

Man says 'It's time to embrace new technology', computer replies: 'I'm not hugging you until you get these sticky notes off me.'

"I'm retiring, so on your next visit you'll be seen by two robots and an electron microscope."

Meet the new factory manager.

Automation of Security

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

"Where do you want the new guy to start?"

Hold on until I punch the time clock.

'The new automated system was a bit of a disaster!'

"We're a totaly automated facility, except for Frank. He plugs everything in each morning."

"Who's the new guy?"

Self-Driving Cars/ABC Driving School

"Welcome to the wise man on the mountain. My advice is now automated so listen carefully for your menu options. To continue in English press 1 now. For the meaning of life press 2 now..."

"Is the lighthouse fully automated?"

'Bob, the computer interface isn't working out.'

Why Self-Serve Banking Doesn't Work.

"Nice blend of automation with a trusted decision-making technique."

"Sorry, Lou, but this one's better at stirring up the malcontents."

With these new Harper postmen, no more collective bargaining woes, boss!

"Sorry guys. You've covered under medical and dental, but not mechanical."

"I no longer need a chauffeur. I brought a driverless car."

"Our new automated systems will be taking over part of your role, starting with your vacation!"

"We don't need waiters since we computerized our ordering process. However, I could use an extra dishwasher."

"And so, following my recommendations, if we outsource, offshore and automate in these areas, we find that. . . I'm out of a job."

"Robots are here to help you Jenkins. This one is going to help you spend more time with your family. All your time in fact!"

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

"With direct deposit and automatic bill pay, my money no longer needs me."

Assorted Arms Vending Machine: Insert Money and Select.

Uber Out of Luck

Then the plant closed, throwing 800 robots and both employees out of work.

'I don't have the heart to let you go, so I'd like you to build your replacement.'