Home Automation Aficionado Gifts

"I know she has a smart home, but does she have to refer to ours as stupid?"

A case against talking furniture

"I'm charging my smartphone."

My House Is Smarter Than Your Honor Roll Student

"Bob has the distinction of being the only thing in this house that's not smart."

"I realize you like a clean floor, but I think one robotic vacuum should be enough."

"Unfortunately he's just not smart enough to set them up!"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Meet the new factory manager.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Congratulations Strike Over!

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."