Home Automation Expert Gifts

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

"Hold it, Harry. There's a new software update for our toothbrushes."

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"Yes, our dishwasher is a smart appliance. But, you still have to actually put the dishes in it."

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

"We really need to have our rugs vacuumed professionally one of these days."

"This house comes with smart windows. They automatically open when my husband takes his shoes off."

"Three remotes have gone missing. It's like some remote-eating gremlin lives in our home."

"This smart home doesn't come with a formal dining room. It has an informal dining room, so it will call you by your first names instead of using Mr. or Mrs."

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."