Soda Jerk Gifts

'Soda jerk...just a jerk.'

'They're out there...ranchers, cowboys soda jerks, insurance salesmen...just waiting for our fire to die down.'

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

The Alpha Seltzer

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Balancing two espresso martinis

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Snowman Driver

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

Coca-Cola Inc: 'Gentlemen, is it too late to be bailed out for 'NEW' Coke?'

I've been ordering a diet coke here every day for the last year. Do you admit that? Um

Energy Drinks

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

'Too bad... so much ice but not a single glass of lemonade!'

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

Soda $1.00. You drive a hard bargain.

Four Weddings and a Funeral and a Bag of Popcorn and a Coke

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'

"When he needs to, Ed can really multitask!"

"Sometimes, the fight for little sister equality must take interesting turns."

*Sigh* Warm coke.

'I'd like to exchange these cola can tokens for a book on hyperactivity.'

Pop Quiz: 'Which came first, Tizer or Tango?'

'Light refreshments now being served'