Socks Critic Gifts

Why Popes Can't Marry

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"To be joined together as a matched pair, in cleanliness and in filth, until separation in the laundry do you part?"

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

Flight Socks.

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'

'You were hot in bed last night.' 'I know, I should have taken my socks off.'

How it started: How it's going

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

The heartwarming pilot episode of "Separated Socks Reunions".

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

Houston, we've just found those lost socks people talk about...

'You have a very advanced case of athlete's foot.'

Christmas Socks

"Can I substitute one of your socks for the baked potato?"

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

Where missing laundry socks go!

"Don't go in there!"

"I said more sex, Barry, more SEX!"

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'So, do you still have feelings for this Hanes person?'

My feet were cold.

WISDOM! WHILE IT LASTS!, 'Maybe the sign wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

Creative Stinking 101 - 'Stinking outside the Sox.'