Sociopath Satire Gifts

"How am I supposed to know whether I'm guilty or not? - I'm a sociopath!"

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

The prying mantis,

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"All the better to ignore you with."

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."