Societal Analysts Gifts

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"She's my bitch."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Before the riots/after the riots

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

"Come in, minion."

World Financial Mafia

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

Social Welfare next!

'It's your debt to society.'

"Meritocracy worked for my grandfather, it worked for my father, and it's working for me."

Abstraction and recognition

Violence in Mexico

How long have you let this unhealthy obsession with family and friends interfere with your celebrity-watching?

'This is you hotel. . . it has no TV, but every room is equipped with CCTV.'

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

"I've made this comprehensive list of my problems and divided it into two categories: those that are my fault, and those that are the fault of the liberal democrat welfare state."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

Not Dead yet

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

Sign says: 'Please Help. Downshifting'

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."

Progress

'The NRA does not support even the mildest gun control! We don't blame guns, we blame society! The violent culture! Movies!! Restrictive gun laws! Video games! The media!!'

"It's amazing how the captures one's true, inner self."

Corruption Crime

Man giving a writer an honest and insulting appraisal of his article.