Social Systems Analyst Gifts

Social Welfare next!

The Computer Bore

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Computer Expert

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Computer monitor for a head.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

Fixing the Computer.

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Binary Man

Before the riots/after the riots

Windows or Mac?

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

World Financial Mafia

Computer Life

"Come in, minion."

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!