Social Skill Satirist Pillows

Ivan the Terrible-with-names

Copycats

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

The prying mantis,

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The Proust of Twitter

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Horse statue throws off rider.

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Social media and censorship...

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

'Twitter for goldfish.'

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Fact amnesty"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Inhospitality tent.

'Coleridge'

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'