Professional Satirist Pillows

"Do you have other references? We feel your guardian angel would be biased in your favor."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Thank god for Sudoku."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Occu-Pie Mars

"You're fired."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Copycats

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Torturing the English Language

Trump pardons

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

UK border controls relaxed.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Ghostwriting the Bible

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

CIA report

Skeptic Tank.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."