Social Savvy Gifts

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"So, what do you do for play?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Online Dating

"#BeCurious"

Victorian Selfie

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

If Watergate Happened Now the Press Would Be Too Busy Reporting on Tweets

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"Sometimes I don't think you're listening to me!"

The first unfriendly takeover

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

"How'd I find you? I followed you on Twitter."

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'