Social Sarcasm Lover Pillows

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

The Snarky District

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"I love these old decorations!"

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'My firm has an entire department that does nothing but adjust for inflation.'