Social Ninja Pillows

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance

"You create a diversion and I'll sneak out the back door."

New product: Faux-Pas eliminator

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

That party went well.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

Building business relations.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Good Luck!

Freedom of the press

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Meet the People of the Internet

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

"Can you keep a secret?"

Computer Virus

Sell the crunch, not the apple!

I don't consider it "multitasking" when you have to do the same task over and over to get it right!

Accountancy

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

Billy strip: bed pan.

Parkour Breakfast

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

Desk trays: In House and Outsource.

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'