Socially Awkward Ninja Pillows

That party went well.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Best Seller

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

Introverted Chair

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"Better than Chekhov"

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

Superhero Introverts

"Don't yell in the restaurant. Use your texting voice."

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

Be the grass...

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

Body Language - Hiss!

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse