Socially Awkward Ninja Pillows

That party went well.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Best Seller

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

Introverted Chair

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"Better than Chekhov"

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

Superhero Introverts

"Don't yell in the restaurant. Use your texting voice."

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

Body Language - Hiss!

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

Be the grass...

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"Would passengers sitting in the Quiet Zone please...Shut the F**K UP!"

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'