Social Media Ninja Pillows

'These geek mixers never work.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Digital Fomo!

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

City Marathon.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Giraffe Selfie

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

Trade Show Sherpas

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

Early Learning Today

"#notguilty."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."