Social Media Whizzes Pillows

"Elves making content for the poor influencer."

Lynching on social media

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Obsession with the Internet.

Selfie Stick

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I, TikTok."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

Online Dating

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Chasebook

"#BeCurious"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Victorian Selfie

Elephant ass selfie.

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

Creativity 2.0

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

Studying and technology