Social Media Buffs Pillows

"These photos are so great. I can't wait to post them during peak hours over the next week to maximise jealousy."

'I need a new motto. One with 140 characters.'

'I overheard the one on the phone tell the other one he's waiting for a tweet.'

Lolaholics Anonymous: 'My name's Susan, and I haven't texted a lol for 25 minutes.'

Chasebook

Good Week for science. They searched for my taxes and found a black hole.

Lynching on social media

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

Selfie Stick

Digital Fomo!

Obsession with the Internet.

"Did you get my tweet?"

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Ice shelfie.

Trick or Tweet

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!