Social Networking Guru Pillows

'Call you back. I've got an important tweet coming in.'

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

Do you Twitter?

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Sir Winston Churchill

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Teamwork!

Networking

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'

The House of Commons.

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

Decision Making Block

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

"Managing a major project in these challenging times requires IMAGINATION, the FIRST thing I'd like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"