Social Media Saint Pillows

The Pope tweets

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Giraffe Selfie

"I, TikTok."

City Marathon.

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

Twitter censorship

Early Learning Today

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

Drive-thru Church

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"#notguilty."

Elephant ass selfie.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

Creativity 2.0

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'