Social Media Curator Gifts

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

'Wait a minute...you know I can't enjoy any experience until I've added dramatic flourishes and posted it on Facebook.'

"Help us reconcile the brilliant, dedicated employee from your references with the complete knucklehead from your social media accounts."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

TV-Man

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Redecorating Easter Island.

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'Well, it's about time!'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

Museum of Mediocre Art.

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"Instead of 'It sucks' you should say, 'It doesn't speak to me.'"

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

The passage of time.

Nobody ever listens to what I say phobia.

'Oy! Zadie, I think we need a bigger house!'

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

Haile Selassie

"It's an amazing coincidence, isn't it, that we all served on the same board of directors?"

Leo Brouwer

The Evolution Of Manhood

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'