Social Interaction Humorist Pillows

I'm no good at small talk

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

'Anybody who has a life, gets more work.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"It's a 'selfie.'"

Better Living Through Technology

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

The team wondered if he would ever fit in.

I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Wake up, Jim. It's time for your break.'

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'Well, I'm glad you two share a sense of humor.'

The First Selfie!

"Er, sorry guys. It didn't look this big on instagram!"

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

'In hindsight, I believe that our oversight was shortsighted. At least that's my insight.'

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

"Baxter, I'm doing an online course in delegating and I want you to sit the exam for me."

'Another failure to communicate?'

"Just a few more pages, Hansen, and we'll take a short break."

"Look at the bright side, you finally have followers."

"Here at Consolidated Megacorp we carry on a proud tradition of marginal competence."

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"