Social Humor Pillows

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Trump

The Art of Misdirection

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

Corporate Lawyers

Brexit Trip

"Are you sure that this is the correct dress for a political event?"

'If we're to be able to afford a cutting edge IT system then we have to make sacrifices...and you're ours.'

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Trump's Speechwriters

'. . . But where's the beef?'

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

'We didn't see any radiation.'

Unpopular Christmas cookie shapes

"51st State, eh?!"

Nick Clegg.

Citizenship test no 17, 'the t-shirt over head'.

'My member requires some interest.'

'The easy part was training him not to beg.'

Land Of The Free And Home To A Lot Of Cheap Stuff

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'