Social Humor Fan Gifts

"Thank you for being a wonderful audience during my cellphone conversation."

Zombie standup

The Rooster Comedian.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

'More government surveillance!'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!