Social Conversations Gifts

"Stock photo, right?"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Glance Exchange

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."