Sociable Student Pillows

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Trust

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

Table tennis.

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"I need a gap year."

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Graduation Day At A Party School

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

High School Prom Expenses

'Cute girl from philosophy. . . BBQ at Dave's. I wonder if she's going?. . . Flat meeting to talk about me not doing my share.'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

The Medical Student

"Of course I'm going to use the money to buy booze. I'm celebrating paying off my student loans."

A School Girl and Teacher.

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Cliques Amongst Mathematicians.

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

"No, this isn't the liquor talking But I am a spokesperson for the liquor."

'You should have read the cookery book for teenagers. It's pretty short: 'Take the food off the package before you microwave it'.'