Sociable Student Gifts

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

University Soapflakes

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Trust

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

Table tennis.

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

"I need a gap year."

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

"I'm on Facebook, dear. Do we want to friend this revolution?"

Graduation Day At A Party School

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

High School Prom Expenses

'Cute girl from philosophy. . . BBQ at Dave's. I wonder if she's going?. . . Flat meeting to talk about me not doing my share.'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

The Medical Student

A School Girl and Teacher.

"Of course I'm going to use the money to buy booze. I'm celebrating paying off my student loans."

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Cliques Amongst Mathematicians.

'You should have read the cookery book for teenagers. It's pretty short: 'Take the food off the package before you microwave it'.'

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

"No, this isn't the liquor talking But I am a spokesperson for the liquor."