Soccer Superfan Pillows

Man caught in bed with football.

"I'm pretty sure my parents' homeowners insurance will cover it."

Football Computer.

The Angry Footballer

"The refereeing was only half bad... the winning team didn't complain."

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Centaur Forward

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

Football

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'