Soccer Fanboy Pillows

Fly Football

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Punt Cake

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Bears

Football

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'