Soccer Fanboy Pillows

Ryan Giggs

Fly Football

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

The trauma of losing.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

If nobody had invented graphics

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Football

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bears

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'