Soccer Drama Enthusiast Gifts

Sepp Blatter FIFA President

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Theatre Crowd

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Centaur Forward

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Football

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Men can show their emotions!

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Teenage Angst.

Football player taking the ball home.

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

'How's the football?' 'Terrific. The coach says I'm one of the school's greatest drawbacks.'

A scarecrow goalie

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'