Drama Loving Sports Enthusiast Gifts

Theatre football.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

University Soapflakes

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

Ratminton

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Falstaff

Gary turns 40.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Saving a Heart

A day at the transgenic races

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'