Soccer Drama Fan Gifts

'The new technology allows us to monitor all the players performance levels like heart rate, acting ability, etc.'

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Scarpia from Tosca

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Theatre Crowd

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Egyptian Football

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Centaur Forward

Watching the football.

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Men can show their emotions!

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."