Sober Realist Pillows

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

A.M Gorky

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"You say that the best thing I could do for my health is to give up alcohol. Let's talk about the second best..."

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

"About time!"

Japanese disaster

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

Turkey...cold turkey.

"It's time once again for Jesus to chase the money changers from the temple."

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Drink kills.

Joe experiences a profound, life-changing moment of clarity, but it simply can't compete with the cool informercial he was watching at the time.

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

Designated Drivers Area

"Me? I'm really scared and sad these days..."

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

'These newly redundant bank employees have got a lot to learn.'

Hospital Checkout: Have a Guardedly Optimistic Day.

"I am as sober as a judge, but I will need you to blow into this to prove it."

'I used to sit in the lap of luxury. Then luxury stood up.'

"How's your dry January going?"

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Designated driver at a party.

""On a positive note closing all the area offices might encourage some of our clients to develop important coping skills."

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own..."

Spin the Bottle on Student Drinking

One day Bob Hope to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.