Sober Skeptic Pillows

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

House of Wishful Thinking

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Actual Results May Vary

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

'You've convinced me. I'm becoming an atheist.'

'So help me, which god?'

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'