Supportive Skeptic Pillows

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'So help me, which god?'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'Oh my god!'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'I blame the internet.'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

Procrastinators Anonymous - Postponed

"Of course I believe in God. He's as real as Santa."

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"

"Taking crazy risks gives me such a rush. Like check out my phone. No case!"

"Today on Zoom she was like, 'I really think everything's going to be okay,' and I'm like, 'I always knew she was a conspiracy theorist!'"

"Do you offer a warranty?"

Hey! Everybody makes mistakes.

"What if I told you that your god told me he was not real? Would you believe me then?"

'As far as I can tell, hard atheism is the same as atheism, only with a driving beat.'

'So God created the world in six days. Any sort of warranty on it?'

"The next seven verses (Deuteronomy 22:23-29 KJV) are shockingly barbaric. So we are pretending they don't exist."

Judgment Day, May 21, 2012