Sober Hero Gifts

'Why am I always the designated driver?'

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

"About time!"

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

Turkey...cold turkey.

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Drink kills.

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

'What's your best seller?'

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

Designated Drivers Area

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

"I am as sober as a judge, but I will need you to blow into this to prove it."