Sober Superhero Gifts

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

"About time!"

Turkey...cold turkey.

Drink kills.

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

"I don't understand. I gave up smoking two years ago."

'We cured your cigarette addiction, but you now need treatment for nicotine patch addiction.'

Designated Drivers Area

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

Second wave

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

Never trust a used car dealer.

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

Snorting lines of the road on the way to rehab.

"I am as sober as a judge, but I will need you to blow into this to prove it."

"How's your dry January going?"

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Designated driver at a party.

Teetotaller outside public house

Bob's season finale.

Spin the Bottle on Student Drinking

One day Bob Hope to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

Wine Humor Cartoon

"He used to read him stories but now he just tells him how great he feels since he stopped drinking."

"-And now, gentleman, raise your glasses...."