Sober Superhero Pillows

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"My name is Andrew, and I need a ride."

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

'Well at least we know there's no chance of either of us being over the drink-drive limit!'

"About time!"

Turkey...cold turkey.

"I don't understand. I gave up smoking two years ago."

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

Drink kills.

'We cured your cigarette addiction, but you now need treatment for nicotine patch addiction.'

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

Second wave

Designated Drivers Area

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

"I am as sober as a judge, but I will need you to blow into this to prove it."

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

"How's your dry January going?"

Designated driver at a party.

Teetotaller outside public house

One day Bob Hope to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

Spin the Bottle on Student Drinking

Bob's season finale.

"Dry January?"

"-And now, gentleman, raise your glasses...."

"He used to read him stories but now he just tells him how great he feels since he stopped drinking."