Soap Operas Gifts

'Correlation Street.'

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

The World Ends Tonight: "NOT before 'Corrie' I hope?"

'Your honor, we find these proceedings to be MUCH less interesting than what we see on TV.'

'Being hooked on the soaps doesn't qualify you for disability payments.'

"You can't video the football. I'm taping Coronation Street on the other side."

'I wouldn't mind so much if I knew what was happening on the soaps.'

'Don't you see, Trudy? OUr life is like a soap opera!'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Aryan Nation Street...

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

'Be reasonable, Shirley! ??" you can't dial 911 for something that happened on a soap opera!'

'Yes, I'm sure they'll let you watch your soap operas, grandma.'

'Neighbours is on, love.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

'Hooked on the soaps? Why, you poor thing -- of course we can put you on disability!'

'The end? I've nowhere near finished explaining the plot to you!'

"He's a telly addict - we've got him on an eastenders drip."

'Doris and I are celebrating our 25th year of watching 'Coronation Street' together!'

"So I bet you watch a lot of novelas on Spanish TV?"

"Our telenovela will return after a word from our sponsor."

"Eastenders!! It's more depressing than an evening at your mother's."

"Between my wrestling show and your telenovela we got a pretty good program!"

'Sometimes I wonder if we'd enjoy Eastenders more if we got a television.'

'I thought she went into that estate agent on your side.'

Man with TV listings - It's not easy keeping track of my social life."

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"

'I gotta go, Jezebel. My soap is coming on: 'Nine Lives to Live'!'

This is a watching neighbours area.

'...And tune in at eleven tonight for a special report on whatever happens next!'

'Let's sue the writers of 'General Hospital.' I had the same symptoms someone had on the soap, but I wasn't cured when I had brain surgery.'

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Enough daytime drama for me.