Soap Opera Fan Gifts

'Still no signs of your husband's memory returning!'

'My marriage started out as a sitcom, developed into a soap opera, and then was cancelled.'

Yeastenders.

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

Life in the lab - 'Come on, you can't fool me...I know you've been seeing another test tube!'

'My publicist thinks I'm seeing someone else.'

Queens Diary: Appeared on balcony of palace, must remember never to watch Eastenders first.

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

'Neighbours is on, love.'

'I thought she went into that estate agent on your side.'

Soap Opera

'Will you give me that-I want to see more than 30 seconds of 'Eastenders' for once!'

"You've forgot your overnight bag!"

Australian 'Then' and 'Nows', 'British convicts' and 'Aussie soap stars'

'I'll tell you the meaning of life if you'll tell me what's been happening on the soaps!'

'Why can't they be fair about it? -- Nominate Obama, and give Hillary her own soap opera.'

"Don't ring me here, darling. My husband's the jealous type."

"So Estella has a boyfriend...and she believes cool cars are foolish. But, somehow, I still find her alluring. I feel so...so...confused."

"Baldo, I thought I told you...I have a boyfriend. And anyway, what do we have in common? You're crazy about cool cars...which I think is utterly absurd!"

"well, there's this girl...and I want to ask her out."

"Well, I can say if it wasn't for tragedy, I would not be here."

"Sergio, Baldo and Gracie were devastated after Rosa died. It's hard when children lose their mother."

"Have you noticed? All these English soap operas have added Latino characters! It's a crass attempt to pander to Latinos by infusing a classic genre of pop culture with people who are just like them! Not that there's anything wrong with crass attempts at

"Cut the drama, Baldo...and have a great summer."

"Mom can't talk now. She's watching her soap."

"Honey, it's the ob-gyn. Do you want to know if it's mine or not?"

'Now turn over for 'Corrie', luv.'

Russian Soap Opera

Have them curse more... People like that.

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'You'll never be a merry monarch if you keep watching soaps.'

Casualty

'Isn't it FUN watching 'Neighbours' together like this, Gilbert dear!'

'Ernie, I'm just going to flick over and catch the last ten minutes of Coronation Street.'

"Does this mean the wedding is off?"