Soap Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I wash my hands 20 times a day...that's why the foam tastes like soap suds."

"Relax, it's not rabies, and if you read your label, you'd see you're a foaming hand soap."

"He's eating the soap, even as we speak."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Toast: the high energy food

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Alphabet Soup: Ingredients - consonants and vowels.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Eventual Motion Machine

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Daytime TV For Nerds

Bakery: Xmas Logs.

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

The Jung and the Restless.

Kevin Baking

Baker: We have Gingerbread House/ Thomas Insurance: We have Homeowner's Insurance

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

Grooming for beginners.

"Must've been a candy apple. I can't believe Adam and Eve would do us in for plain fruit."

'The meaning of life? Well, that depends. Right now it's all about this yummy egg salad!'

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

'I'll have a BLT.' 'ASAP or PDQ?'