Spa Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Your honour, this was simply a mutually agreed fish-pedicure that went tragically wrong.'

Spa

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'More bubbles!'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

A Manicure

Loofah Lady

The Cat Spa

Hot Tub Frosty

This Year's Spa

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mom's Spa'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Spa Dog

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"You're incredibly tight."

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Woman in a bathtub.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Odd Spas

"Well, that's that, Henry. Let's go over to the Four Seasons and towel off."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."