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Soapbox Lectures - To an audience of a dog.

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"Today we're going to talk about brainless reality TV."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

Daytime TV For Nerds

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'Previously on 'Mummies and Daddies...''

The Jung and the Restless.

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

Grooming for beginners.