Soap Connoisseur Mugs

"I wash my hands 20 times a day...that's why the foam tastes like soap suds."

"Relax, it's not rabies, and if you read your label, you'd see you're a foaming hand soap."

"He's eating the soap, even as we speak."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

University Soapflakes

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Toast: the high energy food

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Alphabet Soup: Ingredients - consonants and vowels.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Eventual Motion Machine

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

Daytime TV For Nerds

Bakery: Xmas Logs.

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Your shampoo delivery is here!"

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

The Jung and the Restless.

"Of course it is a nuisance with all this soap, but the important thing is that the germs think so too."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

Grooming for beginners.

Baker: We have Gingerbread House/ Thomas Insurance: We have Homeowner's Insurance

'The meaning of life? Well, that depends. Right now it's all about this yummy egg salad!'

How to make your own snickers bar

Dr. Nutrition, would you say our tuna sandwiches could prevent hair loss? Dr. Nutrition. Given how furry you are, I'll take that as a yes. I will tell our customers the great news. I really appreciate your input, Dr. Nutrition. You are a valued scientific authority. The key to a successful scam is maintaining the pretense at all times.