Snow Bird Enthusiast Gifts

Goose Bus.

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'You know too much!'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Spring Training

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Canada Goose Jackets

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'