Snoring Warriors Gifts

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

Dog Nightmares

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

'...and that M'tud, concludes the case for the prosecution.'

'My bike is so loud I couldn't hear my tunes.'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"I'm sorry, but you can not wear noise protection when teaching your music classes.".

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

"I'm bored."

'How's the new insomnia pill going?'

"They say yoga is good for insomnia."

Yawn

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'Insomnia, eh? -- Drink a glass of warm milk and watch some C-Span.'

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

"Tomorrow we go back to the hospital and replace him with a quieter model!"

"Ironic, isn't it? I spend one-third of my life asleep, and the other two-thirds pretending to be awake!"

"They're slowly adapting to the open-office concept."

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

Zzzzzzzzz...

Woah! Are you going to work like that, mom? Like what? Your mascara's all smeared around your eyes. Ok! Ok! Sorry. What was that about? She's not wearing mascara.

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

"Yes, you were snoring again."

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."