Sneaky Sleepers Gifts

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

'Don't worry about it Dear: You know Daddy gets grumpy if he doesn't get his daily eighteen hours of sleep...'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

Dreams

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Insomnia Clinic - On sale here: Tapes of the Senate's longest filibusters!

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

Children watching a horse show from under the tent

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

In Disguise.

Cookie Thief

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"When I can't sleep I count Powerpoint slides."

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."

Doctors to treat insomnia with sleep app rather than pills

'Sorry dear, I have to go straight to work tomorrow.'

"Honey, you awake? Are you sleeping? Well, I hated your lasagna tonight."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"Honey are you asleep?" "I am now."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'