Sneaky Sea Story Fan Gifts

Crab stealing fisherman's bait.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He was a sea rescue."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Fish or Cut Bait

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

"For drinks or dinner?"

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

'That was fun!'

Trick or Treat. I got a very exclusive invitation to see the new horror movie -- it's a private screaming!

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'

Werehouses.

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

'I like to start my day with a cup of Joe.'