Snap Savvy Pillows

'I'm wearing an electronic ankle device. If I take even one step across the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped, they throw me in the slammer.'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Get on with it!

Champagne

'You can laugh all you want, but since I bought this 'GPS' system, I haven't beached myself once!'

Wedding selfie stick

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

Caged Tourist Attraction

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"

Harvest Data Festival

'Take more vitamins... Well maybe you shouldn't take so many vitamins.'

Up please...

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

Uncle Sam inside a Ukrainian brain.

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

"My advice about all the health foods you've been eating remember, living too long can kill you."

"Tablets? Are we talking digital or paper?"

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

Murder photographs.

Updating the Wedding Car

"And I don't want to hear any of this 'There are no cameras following us so what's the point?' stuff."

"Get closer together, closer together."

"One day this will all be yours, Dad"

Photo opportunity

'Wait 'til the last minute and jump to one side!'

'Whoa! I never realized that TV-news readers had abdomens!'

School picture