Snail Dodger T-Shirts

Hitting snails into next door's garden

The Zoo.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"I'm a monster."

Nun Binning the Devil

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'Stress'

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

Snail with pc monitor.

'The escargots are underdone.'

On holiday...

He's under house arrest. Police Line. Do Not Cross.

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

'Love your renovations.'

'Let's talk climate change.'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'Life is too short to be little.'

Escargots to Go. 'I told you this would never work in the fast food market!'

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"So, you're staying in then?"

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

"Derek has re-invented himself."

"I need a slower internet connection."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

Desert island survivor won't go home to Canada

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Notice - Salt Kills

Don't worry, it's not broken: I'm an invertebrate...

A bunch of snails are in an office slacking off on their work . A co worker snail says:' Just a heads up. . .Jenkins is heading this way with a salt shaker!'

An snail shell with a chimney

"He's too ambitious, going for a black belt."

"Drinking home alone, I think he may have a problem."

The Sports Fanatic