Snail Dodger Gifts

Hitting snails into next door's garden

The Zoo.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Nun Binning the Devil

"I'm a monster."

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'Stress'

On holiday...

Snail with pc monitor.

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Love your renovations.'

Escargots to Go. 'I told you this would never work in the fast food market!'

"So, you're staying in then?"

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

'Life is too short to be little.'

'Let's talk climate change.'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

"Derek has re-invented himself."

"I need a slower internet connection."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

Desert island survivor won't go home to Canada

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

Kid to nurse with big needle: 'I thought I told you no heroic measures.'

An snail shell with a chimney

The Sports Fanatic

A bunch of snails are in an office slacking off on their work . A co worker snail says:' Just a heads up. . .Jenkins is heading this way with a salt shaker!'

"Drinking home alone, I think he may have a problem."

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Notice - Salt Kills

"He's too ambitious, going for a black belt."